Wecome to Absurdia

I blame a lot of my physical problem on stress and too often refuse to fully believe that I'm having a problem unless I can observe some sort of symptom (fever, racing pulse, swollen lips...). This is yet another reason I am the HORRIBLE warning, rather than the good example -- my history shows I'll slog till I'm seriously sick and whine about feeling cruddy along the way. Pleasant for everyone, effective coddling for the germs or histamine trying to takeover my body. I may be creating my own strain of supergerms that are strengthened by whining and caffeine.

Yesterday morning I was just going to make it on time to work when I got stuck in traffic. The normally swift moving highway went from creeping along to a complete standstill. As I sat there worrying about being late and trying (unsuccessfully) to log onto my work email via phone I started to feel the beginnings of a reaction-- tingly lips, painful joints, itchy throat. It wasn't something I eaten, since I'd postponed breakfast in favor of taking the dog for a springtime run. I had a paranoid thought that it was the exhaust from all the cars sitting still and made sure the air was on recirculate.

After a lifetime in traffic I finally approached my exit, where rubberneckers slowed things further with taking time to gape at a the accident made frighteningly beautiful by firetrucks spraying shimmering arcs of water over the highway onto a flaming tanker. As the full trucks sped back down the highway in a water-relay, police directed morning commuters slowly through the exit.

Chest tight and throat itching, I finally made it into the office where I can top off my daily dose of allergy meds and histamine blockers. I start digging through my in-box and get an email that puts me at risk for a cerebral aneurysm -- I can blame my slowly worsening symptoms on this.

Feeling like I'm on the edge of a major reaction make me nervous, which has the potential to make things worse. I do a little yoga breathing and take care of a few happier items before calling my direct teammate in the main office. "Amy." She has a friend with mega-allergies and a husband who is an ER doc and a good sense of humor, thus she can be relied on to be the voice of sanity. I call her to update her on my having made it into the office and joke that that everything will be fine as long as its not a popcorn truck that is burning.

Despite my pledge to keep my whining to a minimum, I'm tell the only other person in the office (my wonderful emergency contact) that I don't feel so good when she says makes the connection to the burning tanker truck. I honestly don't think a popcorn truck is on fire and the 10% ethanol gasoline in even the biggest truck engine would have burned away so quickly that it can not possible bother me.

Welcome to Absurdia.

She quickly finds the news: Ethanol Tanker Crash -- 8,000 gallons of ethanol are burning about half a mile (800 meters) from our office. Fire crews are keeping it under control while the fumes burn off. The highway will be closed for the next 5 hours as the truck burns.

I need to have my passport stamped, clearly we are not it Kansas any more.

I'm visiting Absurdia today. The thing I'm deathly allergic to is spilling on the ground, putting fumes into the air and ON FIRE across a big field from my office. That's why my lips are pufffed up and my throat itches. That's why my chest is tight. That's why I'm dizzy. That's..uh....it could EXPLODE!! OH. For. Pete's. Freaking, Sake. 8,000 gallons of CORN on FIRE is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day in anyone's book.

The good news is I'm not at risk for an aneurysm (today)...I can stay and hope that this is as bad as it gets. Or I get the heck out of dodge before something worse happens -- like the tanker exploding. I may think my job is important but there is nothing that requires me to risk my life, we are not preforming surgery or talking people off ledges.

Epi-Pen in hand, I take a couple wal-dryl* and drive home (not recommended procedure) to put my head under the pillow till I feel ready to deal with Absurdia. I may be having culture shock.

Wonder if I'll need a visa and shots if I'm staying for awhile.




*Walgrenes benadryl -- listed as "virtually" corn-free on the corn free foods list

The blessings of food allergies

While it may seem easy and obvious to be grateful for the lessons of a food allergy and for being able to find locally grown, safe organic food -- I'm thankful, I'm grateful and I'm enjoying the blessings of a severe corn allergy this Thanksgiving.

I may not be so thankful this evening after being around 21 regular people who wear makeup, perfume, and use scented detergent. At this moment, I'm happy, I'm healthy and I'm full.

We cooked an heirloom turkey from farm yesterday. The first turkey I've had since high school. Just washed it, rubbed it with some good olive oil, some sea salt and organic pepper and stuffed some fresh rosemary, sage and diced onions inside. This toddler sized bird went on top of more onions and fresh spices and a cup or two of water -- into the oven for a few hours. I had no idea how amazing turkey is -- as a matter of fact I may have some for a snack now.

The blessing of a food allergy -- even before this allergy progressed to the instant karma of anayphylaxis, I would get sick during the holiday feasts, without a clue as to why. This year there will be no crazy indulgence, this year there will be no pumpkin pie or cranberry relish but there will also be no wobbling florescent jello ring with suspended bits of chemically altered and preserved fruit making me ill. There will be no corn-syrup marshmallow topped sweet potatoes and no joint pain. No butterball turkey (injected with corn filled saline) and no crashing headache.

This year there will be a feast. Made by me. There will be squash, turkey, field greens, spinach, sweet potatoes and carrots all from a local farm.

This year I will be healthy and thankful and full.

Fashion Crisis

I took me three tries to get dressed for work today. Not because I'm particularly fashionable, if is clean and matches I'm good, but rather because each outfit kept failing the one important criteria that only occurred to me after I had gotten fully dressed for the first time.

How will this work if I wind up in the ER?

Outfit 1. The skirt has to go, too cold in the hospital. Once the IV goes in I'm begging for warm blankets from the Bearhugger.

Outfit 2. Rejected again. The pullover sweater is comfy for the dentist visit, the reason for my considering the ER as a possible destination today, but I don't want to get my head stuck in it when I am trying my best to breathe. Pullover is out.

Outfit 3. Pants. Button-up blouse. Button up sweater. Warm, soft, easy access for those heart monitor stickies if needed. Light on the jewelry, Medical Alert easily visible. Purse with Epi-Pen, other emergency meds and a list of corn-based ingredients.

Perfect.

Bring on the dentist and all those chemicals. They were great the first time and I hope they can continue this streak. I have a designated friend to meet me at the ER if everything goes wrong and a good day planed after this if everything goes right. Either way, I'm ready.

Open Wide

There are better ways to introduce yourself than " Hi, I have a new patient appointment for tomorrow afternoon and I have a bit of a strange question. I have a severe corn allergy which means I can be allergic to the powder used on medical gloves. I want to make sure that it is not a problem if I bring gloves that I am not allergic to for the dentist to use."

The nice man who answered the phone assured me that they have people with allergies come in all the time, so they don't use latex gloves. After three rounds of "I'm not allergic to latex I'm allergic to the powder that is used on latex or latex-free gloves," I got the okay to show up with my pretty purple gloves for the dentist to use.

Step one, done. Now all I need to do is get them to rinse off everything that comes out of packaging before it goes in my mouth. I'm sure I'm going to be their crazy patient for the day -- maybe the week or the month. But I am SO not in the mood to get sick for the sake of being polite. So, the thing I need to remember going in to this is to be firm, rational and clear about what I need to be safe.

Frankly, it makes me quite nervous to put anything unknown, or out of my control in my mouth. I don't eat processed food, why would I be okay with opening my mouth for one of those dental x-ray things fresh out of the packaging? I want to know what is in/ on it, what it has been wiped or powered with, what was on the line where it was made. Too many questions that no one has ever asked the dentist, questions that they will have no idea about.

Firm, rational, clear. I can do this.

This may not be the most fun day I've ever planned, but I chipped a molar and need to get it fixed now. Tomorrow is just x-rays and consultation. No cleaning, no chemicals, not a lot that should be too out of bounds. It is a good chance to talk to them and see if they can work with me or if I need to try another office. I have no idea what I'm going to do about getting my tooth fixed. Pre-medicate and hope for the best?

Firm, rational, clear. And calm.

Breaking in a new set of people not to kill me, medical professionals at that, is not as easy as one would hope. The corn allergy is a rare enough diagnosis (particularly as reactive as I am) that they may not have encountered anyone with this little issue and can dismiss my strange requirements as those of an over reactive hypochondriac - till it is time for the Epi-Pen and the ER. If they have a sense of humor, I will be fine. Pretty purple gloves, safe soap; honestly I'm not crazy, I'm just trying to keep breathing.

Firm, rational, clear, calm. And in control.

It is too easy to become passive in a medical situation -- doctors, dentists all have worked hard for their expertise and I am there because I need their help. We've been taught to be good and cooperate to get the best care. Reverting to a child who says "Ahh" when told to open wide is not going to do me any good tomorrow or any time in the future. I need to remember that I have a uncommon problem that can be life threatening. If they can play Let's try not to kill Christine today I'm happy to be there. If they can't, I don't have to stay.

Firm, rational, clear, calm, in control. With a happy smile.

Open wide? With caution, thank you.

Touch / Don't Touch

This allergy at times feels like you are playing a meta children's game with rules made and enforced by one of the trickster gods that doesn't mind a little pain as a teaching tool or finds it amusing to watch a human squirm.

The trickster god I'm most partial to is Sun Wu-Kong (孫悟空), the Monkey King, from Journey to the West. In some lesser translations he is referred to as Naughty Monkey. It’s easy to imagine a naughty, prankster monkey changing the rules on what's safe in Touch / Don't Touch quickly and capriciously just to watch what happens — then swinging by his tail, rocked by laughter at the antics of this silly human who can't keep up with his rules.

I don’t know if a malicious Monkey King, Kupua, Iktomi or maybe Loki designed the rule set I should have been following this past week. My safe zone has been shifting around the edges and it’s increasing my reactivity.

I wonder what it takes to bribe a god to get just 5 minutes with an English copy of their rule book?

I’m having problems with my game because I’ve changed a few habits, broadened my horizons and have my wheat allergic brother visiting. Unfortunately some of his staple foods contain high amounts of corn and while he is being as careful as possible, I know that he’s not used to dealing with my protocol and while he tries, he’s not always as careful as I’d like. He’s also introducing some unsafe chemicals into my normal safe zone.

If the gods have been a little capricious for you with the Touch / Don’t Touch rules, here are some helpful hints, with links. Remember, this is what works for my individual case, your results may vary. Trial one new thing at a time and use caution, please!

Touch:

Kitchen
Dishmate Ultra Washing Liquid (Pear smells best IMO)
Electrosol Dishwasher Tablets (the name is changing to Finish, I hope it doesn’t mean an ingredient change)— original only, not the citrus scent. I have no idea why this doesn’t bother me, it was a lucky accident that I discovered it. The citric acid in the Ecover dishwasher powder makes it hard for me to breathe. Again, reactions may vary. Trial carefully, this seems like is shouldn't be safe, but it has been fine for me.
Brawny or Bounty Paper Towels — Just remember to look for the cute lumberjack, but watch out for the glue on the first and last ones.

Bathroom
Kiss My Face Olive Oil Soap — only the pure olive oil, no other kind is safe.
ShiKai Natural Everyday Shampoo & Conditioner — (no other type of Shikai is corn free).
Scott’s Regular Brand Toilet Paper — there are some places you really never want to be itchy. Only the cheapest version is safe, this is the one time this allergy saves you money! I don’t know about the recycled kind they are now marketing. I may trial it when I’m having a good month.
Moisturizer — I’ve given up the search for a safe moisturizer, but Whole Foods 360 Organic Olive Oil and Trader Joe’s Organic Olive Oil work wonders. Just put it in a small plastic spray bottle, spray a little in your hand and pat it on after your shower. You do need to wait a few minutes before touching your clothes.
Deodorant — Almay Clear Gel, Fragrance Free works okay for me, but if you react to that, try one of those Thai Deodorant Crystals. You’ll still sweat, but you won’t be smelly.
Toothpaste — Adwe Labs Cool Mint Gel, Kosher for Passover works for me. (Word to the wise, if your partner isn’t eating your same foods, make sure they brush with a designated allergen free toothbrush and your toothpaste before kissing you. Just tell him/her you’d like to know that is it the kiss, not the allergy, making your pulse race and taking your breath away. :P)

Laundry
All Free and Clear — this has been working really well for me. I'll sometimes add baking soda, and a little organic apple cider vinegar if I’m trying to get a smell out (from clothes that have been borrowed or given to me) since there are no masking fragrances in this the detergent the smells from other detergents take a while to wash out.


Don’t Touch:
The easy answer is, don't touch anything you don't know is safe. But that is just impossible. The day to day ones that seem to stay on the rule book are:
Tape
Glue
Stickers
Stamps
Regular Toothpaste
Corn filled processed foods
Perfume, cologne
Corn based alcohols, alcohol swabs
Baby wipes
Makeup
Hairspray and other hair goop
Gasoline w/ ethanol
Corny people — get good at that superficial air kiss with your family and close friends.


If this is just too much, you can always rewrite the rule book and pull one over on those trickster gods.

Take on the Corny World
Wear Gloves — Powder free, latex free. Touch anything. Break the rules. Laugh at fate, but not too loud.

Remember, gods aren’t know for their sense of humor. I’m still paying for my lapses of last week, trying not to scratching like a naughty monkey.

Breaking Rules

I have the evil red bumpies today -- the smallest and most upsetting of my reaction set since it actually hurts. I did it to myself at work, sorting photocopies. While chatting with a colleague, I carelessly licked a finger to make flipping pages easier, did it again and POP! Evil red bumpies.

I hate this reaction because I feel each little bump erupt, and have a hard time not getting irritated. Like with most difficult situations, staying calm seems to make reactions less intense, more bearable. When you've just poisoned yourself and your instant karma is small points of pain, it can be a bit difficult to remember this.

Over the last few years I've broken myself of the habit of chewing on pens, putting a hairclip in my teeth while doing my hair, holding nails in my lips. The thousand thoughtless things that touch our lips in any given day are now off limits. A pen fresh out of the box is just as off limits as a pen from my desk. It's not germaphobia, it's possible corn contact. I have no idea what as used in the factory or even what was on the hands of the last person that touched this thing. Maybe it is skin safe, but do I really need to take it to the next level of testing by putting it in my mouth? Yikes.

I take for granted that my internalized rules of behavior will keep me safe. Apparently I need a refresher this week.

The crash course:

1. If you don't know what is in/on it, don't put it in your mouth.
2. Be prepared, carry your emergency supplies everywhere, everyday.
3. Speak up, if you need something to be changed to keep you safe.
4. Move it, get and stay away from airborne sources of your allergen.
5. Stay calm, try to relax and give yourself a break when reactions happen.

We all make mistakes. Lately it feels like I do more so than most. I have 2 new foods lined up to trial this weekend, but this makes my third minor reaction in a week, so no go. I need at least 5 clear days before risking anything new. Ke garne? Something to look forward to next week.

Be safe. I am your horrible warning.

Besties

I'm ridiculously over attached to my best friend. My dependable, there for me, ready in pinch, always got my back, never out of reach best friend.

I think I used to be more normal (though my Lakota brother may disagree with that one). Not so long ago my best friend was human. I haven't gone completely around the materialist bend, at least it's not diamonds that are this girl’s best friend.

I never, ever leave home without my best friend. Not for a walk, not for a quick trip to the store, not to go to a meeting, not for anything. Ever. Er..except today.

Today is not a good day to die, but I carelessly, friendlessly, sauntered in that direction.

First mistake, leaving home without my best friend, the Activeaide bag (2 Epi-pens, Benadryl, Gloves, Zantac).

Second mistake, deciding being on time was more important than being safe. Fortunately I had backup Zantac and Benadryl in my work bag --put some in my back pocket and headed out to a work luncheon (where I was not eating, of course).

Third mistake, not making a graceful exit when I saw the corn on the cob being served. I thought, “Outdoor venue, no problem I’ll just stay far away.”

Fourth Mistake...that's enough. Suffice it to say I earned another stripe on the horrible warning badge today, took Benadryl with no backup and hoped for the best. I’ve only had fumes from cooking corn require an Epi-pen once, today was not to be the second time time. After it was over, I zoomed home to grab the purse with my Activeaide bag.

---
I generally have to laugh at the foolish mistakes I make, since in the grand scheme of things my problems are rather minor and manageable. But, even with a large dose of perspective, there are still moments where I scare myself.

Driving back to the office after picking up everything I needed to keep breathing in case of an anaphylactic reaction, I attempted to drown out the internal chorus of "Fool!" by cranking the CD to window rattling volume. Instead of helping, hearing Tod A. growl out "This is no joke, this is my life," loosed the last reserves holding back the fear. Springing out, all the worse for having been compressed, the consequences I had managed not to think about found physical expression in shaking hands and blurred eyes. Trying to cope at 60 miles an hour, I sang along with Tod through chattering teeth till the adrenaline wore off.

I'm still learning to manage this allergy on my own. Odds are, I'm going to screw up. Such is life. I'm lucky to be able to live and learn. After I post this I'm putting my backup Epi-pens in my work bag along with the extra stage one meds. Lesson learned, better preparedness in the future.

Then I'm cranking up the rest of the my new music* and dancing around the house till I can't remember what fear feels like.

*(Thanks for the all the music Jed, it’s 100% corn free and fantastic!)

Christine, Horrible Warning

I get more emails than I do comments on the blog, I think the comment blocksmay look too small for what most folks with a corn allergy have to say. Ifyou've gotten tired of telling your partners and friends about how thisallergy is taking over your life, you can always comment here or send and email to cornallergy at gmail (dot) com. It is bit of a relief to talk tosomeone that already gets it, for me too. It may take me a few days to respond, the one thing I can guarantee is that you have both my sympathy and my empathy. It's okay to vent or whine a bit, we all do it and I've said more than my fare share of "How the [string of creative expletives deleted]
did they get corn in that!"

I've been having a really interesting conversation with SushiQ (yes, you canchoose your own blog name) who was just diagnosed a few months ago and ismaking great progress in changing her diet to cut out hidden corn, even taking her own food to events (and having people steal it off her plate since her food is better than what is being served!). With her permission, I bring you some of our conversation:

Christine,
...You are in the back of my mind as my "horrible warning" when I eat. (that
doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean) You have really helped me get
a better understanding of what a corn allergy means. For you it is a
disability. I am truly hoping that I can maintain my life as-is. When I
fall off the wagon my reactions have been...not life-threatening. I do
think of you when I do it...makes me feel not so alone.

-s

SushiQ,

I had to laugh when I read about being the horrible warning; one of these
days I'll be a good example. Ha! I think the horrible warning is much more
effective.

Years before a food allergy was ever suspected I started to think I had
problems with sugar because whenever I had something sugary, like cake or
soda I'd start to feel flushed and ill. Sugar in my tea wasn't a problem but
most sweet foods were making me sick; I now know that I was reacting to all
the processed corn syrups. This was just after I had returned from several
years in Asia where I was not getting a lot of corn sweetened foods or
general corn in my diet. So, that was the point where a diagnosis (perhaps)
could have stopped me from getting to my current point of super caution with
food.

Easy to see in hindsight, but I was in grad school and far too consumed with
studying to pursue it other than to avoid foods that were making me really
sick. I didn't figure it out and eventually got to busy to pay attention to
what was going on with my health; work, work and more work. I escaped the
American food system 2 more times with work in India and Nepal and now that
I think about it I noticed problems with food at home after being out of the
country for few months. Taking that break from corn was enough to make me
aware that I didn't feel right after eating a lot of processed foods. But I
never made the connection with a real food allergy till I had my first
anaphylactic reaction. After that, I started to become the horrible warning.

If it helps you move through the learning curve for avoiding corn faster
than I did (it took me YEARS) or makes you think twice before eating
something iffy, then being the horrible warning is well worth it. You are
not alone, there are more and more of us diagnosed with some level of corn
allergy or intolerance every week. Don't be like Christine isn't much of a
slogan, but I do hope the idea that no matter how severe your reactions
are this allergy is manageable, comes through on the blog.

We're in this together and I'm on your team!

-c

It seem to me, SushiQ and all the rest of the corn allergy people, that there are more of us every day and we certainly are on the same team. I'm still hoping to have one of those perfect moments at a function where I am standing around with a glass of mineral water while everyone else is eating and drinking. I can see it perfectly -- I look across the room...there is someone else with just a glass of mineral water... and an allergy bracelet...our eyes meet...across the crowded
room...we say in unison "CORN ALLERGY!" The ensuing hysterical laugher may disturb the rest of the guests, but I plan to introduce myself as "Christine, Horrible Warning."

Cowgirl up

Till about a year ago, I'd never been particularly obsessive about anything. I've regarded this allergy experience as a cross between a scientific experiment where I am both subject and observer and a guessing game with some nasty consequences for losing. About a year ago I fully gave up on making myself sick with the food I love[d].

Many years ago, a doctor had said about a vitamin I poisoned myself with (it said corn free on the label), “If you don't know what the heck is in it, don't put the darn thing in your mouth.” Smart woman.

Now, if I don’t make it I don’t eat it. My food comes from a nearby organic farm, grown by an amazing group of farmers. It's local, in season, from people I trust.

There are a few exceptions to that rule, currently readily available are a few canned organic soups, milk, spices and a box of rice crackers. The rice crackers may be on their way off the safe list; they never were the most appealing food, but made a good emergency backup to keep in the car. This is all in the past tense, because somehow I poisoned myself with one of my safe, lovely, bland crackers this afternoon. While snacking on one during a coffee break, I was hit by an odd thought. “Wow this tastes great! Kind of like a Sun Chip, a little sweet, crunchy, tangy...”

In the microseconds it took for that thought to form, alarm bells began clanging in my head. “Wow, this tastes great!” has often been a phrase that precedes a reaction for me. Internal strobe lights streaked across my brain, Warning! WARNING! Get it out!! OUT! Finally my reflexes kicked in and I, oh so gracefully, spit the chewed up cracker into my hand. Since the allergy lifestyle involves experimentation, I had to look to see if it was different somehow than the rest of the crackers. Nope. Not that I usually examine my food when it is in bolus form, but it the color and texture seemed normal.

For a second, I though I had done pretty well not to swallow the cracker, till I felt the warning tingle in my lips and nose and the real emergency response kicked in. GET IT OUT was echoing around my skull as I ran for the bathroom to rinse out my mouth and brush my teeth. Not fast enough to keep myself from needing meds, but good enough to avoid the Epi-pen.

Now I’m dizzy, nauseous, achy and about 2 seconds from crying because I’ve lost some convenient crackers from my set of safe foods -- I can barely stand to be around myself when I get like this. In the grand scheme of things, there are so many worse things that could happen; no one is shooting at me, there are no tigers waiting to eat me and I am far from starving. As MTB would say, “Time to cowgirl up and get over it.” I’m just going to have to be more vigilant about the If I didn’t make it, I don’t eat it rule. I may not want to cook every day, but that is just too darn bad, do it or be hungry.

There is still a choice available, eat what is safe or don't eat. Amazing food from a wonderful farm comes once a week through the CSA, I'm fortunate enough to know the incredible people who grow my food and know that it is all safe for me to eat. They are kind, concerned and careful with my food. Why bother with something that may or may not be okay? Why even support a food system that is not safe for me or anyone else who needs to know what is in their food?

Two statements that really resonate with me when I think about our food choices:

We can still decide, every day, what we're going to put into our bodies, what sort to food chain we want to participate in." - Michael Pollan, Omnivore's Dilemma

and

"How we eat determines to a considerable extent how the world is used." - Wendell Berry

If you have a severe corn allergy, the general American food system is not safe for you. The shipped green, waxed, gassed to ripen, processed and packaged food that is so very convenient and so easily available is poisoned with corn derivatives through and through to keep it fresh, keep it shiny, retard the growth of e-coli or make it smell good. Ick. The corn used in packaging and processing is not required to be disclosed on the label. Double Ick.

It took years of trial and error, truly years of poisoning myself, for me wise up and make a choice. It took more time, more research, and more frightening experiences than I would wish on anyone for me to get to the point where my safety and health outweighed my desire for “normal” food. Now my cravings are for understanding, adaptation and safety. The fact that this allergy resulted in my eating fresh, local, delicious food is a great bonus. I owe my health and quite possibly my sanity to my farmers. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Do you know where your food comes from? If you don’t, are you really managing your allergy?

That’s the question I’m going to ask myself the next time I’m temped to go for convenience.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Find a farmers’ market, sign up for a CSA, get local food near you:
www. localharvest.org
Find out more about the multiple benefits of local food at:
www.foodroutes.org

Buy Fresh! Buy Local! Be Safe!

Ordering Nothing

Having Ted in town gave me the opportunity to test the eating out without eating theory. Eating out without eating is just ordering something small so you don't have to sit there with nothing in front of you, toying with it and/or getting your companion(s) to eat it. You've ordered, so you've fulfilled the general function of a patron in a restaurant, but you haven't eaten anything you are allergic to, so you are not sick. Win/win in my book.

This won't work in every situation, you will need:

1. An easygoing dinner companion, preferably one that is hungry
-someone who understands your allergy, knows you can’t eat anything off the menu
-someone interesting enough that you are there for the company, not the food!
2. Forethought and planning!
-eat beforehand
-warn your dinner companion that you are going to order an appetizer only, and you are ordering just to order and you need someone else to eat it :)
-don’t order something made with your allergen or a food that you have a hard time resisting
3. The ability to act
-you can still look happy to get the food and enjoy the smell (as long as you are not hungry, this will be fine)
-share with your companion, but be sure you pick up your silverware and play with a few pieces, nudge a bit around, sip your drink, use your napkin

Truth is, at a restaurant people are not paying that much attention to anyone outside their party, so as long as you have decent manners, you can save yourself the big song and dance about your allergy by just doing the appetizer trick and getting a safe drink (mineral water for me, or a cup of tea --yes, I carry corn free tea bags in my purse). I tip like I ate a real meal since I’m still taking up the same space and time from the staff.

Ted is more easygoing than most, so my playing with the calamari while he ate didn’t bother him at all. As I've said earlier, I was there for the company, so I was having a great time. The lack of food for me wasn't an issue since I wasn't hungry.

I don’t know how well this would go over with someone not so well adjusted to my restrictions or so relaxed. I’ll keep you posted.

(There is always the other option of calling the manager, bringing something you can eat, having them put it on a plate for you and playing a plating fee. And, hoping that it doesn't get contaminated in the kitchen. Of course, I am REALLY careful, due to the severity of my reaction and not wanting to waste time with a reaction while I have a guest.)