Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Real friends don't try to feed me

I am a bad guest, in that you can't offer common hospitality to me, in terms of food and drink, when I come to visit. A corn allergy means the set of things that are safe for me is small and I would rather be able to spend time with you than to eat something that might make me sick just to be polite. If you love me, or even just kind of like me and want to avoid drama at your house, you won't try to feed me. Of course, if you secretly hate me or really want to use the Epi-pen, then feeding me is a good idea.

I'm a good guest, in that I come prepared. Even if I am just going to a neighbors, there is usually a snack and a drink in my bag so that I don't try something new out of hunger. I usually carry healthy, organic snacks, and I share.

I've been thinking about this because Grace had her birthday party this weekend and A. and I went to help wrangle the hordes of kidos dressed up as princesses and super heroes. All in all it was a very successful kid fantasy of a birthday party, with a princess cake, castle piƱata and lots happy kids. I realized after the party, not once did anyone offer me a piece of corn-syrup filled cake, ice-cream or candy, despite the fact that all the kids and their parents were munching away. Not once did I have to stop and say, "No, Thank you I'm Allergic." I was just another grown-up doing my grown-up duty of encouraging tulle-clad princesses around the room to the next game. My real friends don't try to feed me anymore, they've learned that almost everything 'normal' has corn in it.

Real friends:
  1. Don't try to feed me
  2. Do wipe down their children after they eat
  3. Do keep the obvious allergens "secured" when I am at their house
  4. Do ask before they cook or spray anything around me
  5. Do let me bring the ingredients if they really want to cook something for me and let me help (Thanks for the Fry Bread H & M, I'm still dreaming about it)
  6. Do invite me over for lunch or dinner and let me bring my food -- I want to go out, I just need to bring something safe
  7. Don't eat ALL of my special food, but do try it
  8. Don't use air fresheners or smelly candles when I are coming over
  9. Don't bother to offer me thing they know I am allergic to, even when everyone else is eating them
  10. Know how to use an Epi-pen and where I keep my emergency medicines.
Real friends just deal with the fact that this is my "thing." Everyone has a thing, mine has to do with food and not dying over lunch. Some people enjoy drama, I try to avoid it. My real friends get it.

1 comment:

das said...
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